Sometimes I wonder if I’m too over the top.
It’s not that I’m insane. I make good grades, work hard, maintain a decent amount of level-headedness (even with my Girl Brain) and can function normally in most social situations.
But there’s a side of me that just doesn’t give two shits – (pardon the language.) Just like a honey badger.
I went out to lunch with this really nerdy guy. He seemed nice enough. I tried to maintain a good sense of normalcy and friendliness, but when I started getting comfortable with the conversation, I let some of the crazy out.
Seriously though. Why should I feel self conscious about the fact that I enjoy going out on Thursday nights and seeing if I can chug a beer at the same rate as my guy friends? I’m not a ho. I’m not a drunken fool. I like having fun. Who cares if sometimes this results in me having to turn down swingers who think my fake British accent is hot?
What if this guy knew that after I got home from this “date,” I had a horrible craving for chocolate, resulting in me womp-womping around the house to some Skrillex while trying to find the perfect brownie recipe? I may have even yelled “Yo Ollie drop dat BASS!” at Olivia Wilde, my cat.
And I talk about my cat way too much. But she’s funny! She’s like a character in my life that I tell stories about. Who doesn’t like a good story?
Why should I give a shit what anyone else thinks?
Sometimes I wonder if this crazy should be released. My hyena-like laughter at bad puns. The fact that I wish it was socially acceptable for me to sit like a man. The way my hair looks when I don’t straighten it. The 10 different colors of nail polish I put on my fingernails. My socks with Mount Rushmore on them. The fact that I made my cat a facebook. The Twizzlers I sometimes eat in lieu of breakfast. The way I rank gas station Icees by if they have the dome lids and the right kind of straws. The terrible brownies I just made. The fact that I tore one of my contacts and had to use an old prescription, so now my vision is oddly lopsided and I feel seasick.
Or the things that aren’t crazy. The bad things.
The way I procrastinate on things that are important, like finding a job. The way I overthink every situation into oblivion. The way I have trouble prioritizing. My terrible budgeting skills. The fact that sometimes I’d rather buy beer (or Twizzlers) instead of food. The fact that I’m not entirely sure of what I want out of life. The fact that sometimes my Girl Brain gets the better of me.
And I’m always too busy laughing at my own terrible punny jokes to notice that the guy is inching away from me.